Have Weddings & Marriage Lost Their Allure?

4 Nov

The prospect of walking down the aisle at a white wedding has long been portrayed as every little girl’s dream…


But a wide-ranging study of children’s attitudes to life has found that today’s girls are increasingly skeptical about the idea of marriage – in stark contrast to boys.

Polling for the Girl Guides found that only a small minority view finding a husband as a mark of success and less than half of girls still see marriage as the “best” kind of relationship.

Their skepticism about marriage comes in marked contrast with more traditional attitudes displayed by boys who continued to view it as an aspiration.

The findings emerged from an annual study by Girl Guiding UK, tracking the opinions of more than 1,000 girls and young women aged seven to 21 on a range of subjects from politics to the family and education.

While most of the girls viewed the institution of marriage in a positive light, only 46 per cent saw it as the “best” kind of relationship and 29 per cent actively disagreeing.

Meanwhile seven per cent of girls thought it would be better not to get married at all.

By contrast 56 per cent of boys polled saw marriage as the best kind of relationship.

Overall only one in five girls viewed getting married as a mark of success in life, while 56 percent cited being confident and independent.

It seems girls value family and marriage but they clearly do not see this as the absolute definition of success. This saddens me because I have come to see a wedding and marriage as a beautiful ceremony, not because of the perfect dress or extravagant trappings, but because it should be a joyous celebration of me finding my soul mate that I want to share with family and friends.  It’s disappointing that all this has lost its significance.

It was once one of the three nodal significances of life: birth, marriage and death, and, in the days before women stepped out of man’s shadow, it signified a young woman’s leaving the shelter of her home on the arm of her father to move to the care and protection of her husband. An impossibly romantic conceit today when woman has won her freedom from the male, but for me a loss all the same. But what could be the cause of this shift?

I never pressured myself when it came to choosing a suitor in the marriage department. I’m young, naive, and frankly, just want to have fun. It used to be frowned upon for women to be single….and in their mid-twenties nonetheless! However today, being single is more prized, and seemingly more women have a repertoire that includes bars, clubs, city escapades, and bars, or “living” as some call it.

I’ve always loved weddings. I can’t exactly describe why, but I find myself lost in the aura and magic of shows like “David Tutera Unveiled”, “Four Weddings”, and of course, “Say Yes to the Dress.” I’m now at the point in my life and relationship where I finally am yearning for that special day, and I will do everything I can to solidify the meaning of love and unconditional commitment, although I know it might go a little like this….

Me: But gray tuxes are appropriate because [insert some made up fashion rule about colors and time of year and or/location].
Him: but I always pictured myself wearing a black tux on my wedding day.
Me: (starting to look upset) But [insert irrelevant person] knows colors and she thinks gray would look better with the wedding color scheme.
Hi : Ok fine, gray.

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